When someone dies, they leave behind memories of them, and lots of other things as well. This book deals with those other thi...Read more
Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent
- August 24th, 2018
Local Elder Law Attorneys in Ashburn, VA
Margaret A. O'Reilly, PC
Margaret A. O’Reilly is an estate planning and elder law attorney with over thirty-five years of legal experience. Attorney O’Reilly graduated from Duke University with a degree in psychology, and received her law degree from Northeastern University School of Law in Boston, Massachusetts. For over 15 y...
Ron M. Landsman, P.A.
Ron M. Landsman has been practicing elder law since 1983, before it was known as elder law, originally with Landsman and Laster, Washington, D.C., then Landsman, Eakes and Laster, also in Arlington, VA, and since 1990 in his own practice in Montgomery County, Maryland. He has been among the most active members of the...
Felinton Elder Law & Estate Planning Centers
Mindy Felinton concentrates in the areas of Medicaid planning, Veterans' Benefits, asset protection, nursing home planning, elder law, wills, estate planning, trusts, living wills, powers of attorney, probate administration and trust administration and began her legal career 30 years ago as an Assistant State Attorney...
Grace Lebow and Barbara Kane. Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent. HarperCollins, New York, NY. 1999. 203 pages.
$10.36 from Amazon (click on book to order).
Do you have a parent who manipulates with guilt or flattery, is insensitive to the needs of others, or becomes ill when confronted with separation? These are some of the behaviors of a "difficult" parent according to authors Grace Lebow and Barbara Kane. Many books deal with the physical ailments of aging, but few address the challenges for adult children of coping with emotionally draining parents.
Lebow and Kane, clinical social workers and case managers, as well as cofounders of Aging Network Services (www.agingnets.com), have written a valuable guide for children stressed out from dealing with parents whose own emotional reserves may be stretched thin by the aging process. According to the authors, the first step to improving relations is understanding that something from the parent's past is causing his or her behavior. A difficult parent often feels worse than the child, so showing empathy for the parent may be the key to successful communication.
This practical book is divided into chapters based on categories of problem behaviors: dependency, negativity, self-centeredness, overly controlling, self-destructiveness, and fearfulness. Stressing the need to not argue with a difficult parent, in each chapter the authors present stories and examples of how to deal with a parent whose behavior is problematic, including sample dialogues and letters. There is also a chapter on dealing with loss, grief, and mourning. If managing your parent is a contentious process, following the tips in this worthwhile book may help eliminate some of the stress.
Last Modified: 08/24/2018