My mother is 93, healthy, takes care of herself, does her own laundry, cleans her condo, fixes her own food and does...Read more
It is not at all unusual for children to have different impressions of a parent’s situations and needs and of the best care for her. Often this has to do, as you suggest, with the amount of time they spend with the parent. It can often help to involve a professional geriatric care manager who can provide an outside and educated perspective, as well as advise on local care options. Also, everyone needs to be aware that dementia is not static and can get worse over time.
That said, as long as your mother has not been declared incapacitated by a court she has the same rights you or I have to decide where she lives. While she can request your assistance and delegate certain matters to you, without a court appointment you can’t make a residential decision for your mother. This is something of a gap between durable powers of attorney – which allow the delegation of legal and financial authority – and health care proxies – which permit the delegation of health care decisions. So, for instance, under a durable power of attorney your brother can sign a contract so that your mother has a room at an assisted living facility, but neither he nor you can force her to move there.
Local Elder Law Attorneys in Ashburn, VA
Mindy Felinton concentrates in the areas of Medicaid planning, Veterans' Benefits, asset protection, nursing home planning, elder law, wills, estate planning, trusts, living wills, powers of attorney, probate administration and trust administration and began her legal career 30 years ago as an Assistant State Attorney...
Margaret A. O’Reilly is an estate planning and elder law attorney with over thirty-five years of legal experience. Attorney O’Reilly graduated from Duke University with a degree in psychology, and received her law degree from Northeastern University School of Law in Boston, Massachusetts. For over 15 y...