Getting Help for a Parent With Memory Loss

Takeaways

• Seeking a timely diagnosis for memory loss or cognitive decline in an aging parent is crucial for early intervention and future planning.
• Despite potential challenges like the parent’s denial or fear, adult children can encourage seeking professional help through sensitive conversations and by utilizing at-home cognitive tests as a prompt for medical evaluation.

When an aging parent shows signs of memory loss, confusion, or cognitive decline, getting them to seek help can be a challenge. Delays in obtaining a diagnosis of dementia are common, with Sci Tech Daily reporting that it takes an average of three-and-a-half years between noticeable symptoms of cognitive decline and a diagnosis.

Yet obtaining timely diagnoses can be crucial. Accessing early interventions can lead to better outcomes. As Time reports, Alzheimer’s treatments implemented early are more effective.

When families know a loved one has dementia, they can prepare for decisions about long-term care and caregiving roles. The older adult may also still have time to execute a valid power of attorney nominating a trusted decision-maker.

While helping a parent with cognitive symptoms can be challenging, children of older adults with such symptoms can take steps to help their parents seek out a medical evaluation.

What Is Dementia?

Approximately one in 10 of adults 65 and older have dementia. Dementia describes a group of progressive illnesses that affect thinking and memory and involve damage to nerve cells or their connections in the brain.

The most prevalent cause of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease. The Alzheimer’s Association reports an estimated 7.2 million people in the United States live with Alzheimer’s. Other types of dementia include vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, frontotemporal dementia, and mixed dementia, which has multiple causes.

Sometimes, dementia-like symptoms are caused by an underlying medical condition. For instance, urinary tract infections can cause confusion, especially for older adults. Treating the underlying condition may help restore cognitive function.

Dementia Symptoms

According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of dementia, which may get worse over time, include:

• Noticeable memory loss
• Difficulty communicating or finding words
• Getting lost more easily
• Reasoning or problem-solving challenges
• Trouble planning and performing complex tasks
• Diminished coordination
• Confusion and disorientation
• Psychological changes like agitation, paranoia, anxiety, and depression

Many people mistake dementia symptoms for normal aging. However, memory problems and marked cognitive decline are not considered a normal part of aging and should be assessed by a medical professional.

Why Parents May Delay Getting Help

Convincing a parent to accept that they may need a medical evaluation can prove challenging. Parents may dismiss memory issues and cognitive challenges as a normal part of getting older. When an older adult experiencing early-stage dementia recognizes signs that something may be wrong — misplacing objects, forgetting names, repeating the same story — they may deny their symptoms because of fear of social stigma, loss of independence, or burdening family members. People with dementia that has progressed further may lack insight into their condition, not understanding that they need help.

Encouraging a Parent to Seek Help

Adult children of individuals who may be showing signs of dementia can encourage them to seek help. But there are several important considerations that can shape how the parent responds.

When a parent is in the early stages of cognitive decline and still able to recognize a problem and make decisions, one strategy is to plan a conversation with them. The Alzheimer’s Association recommends preparing for the conversation by noting what symptoms the individual seems to be experiencing and if anyone else has noticed a change.

The adult child may have the conversation or ask another trusted individual to do so. Because of family roles and expectations, some people may be more receptive to another older family member or friend than their child. Whether the adult child or someone else is stepping in, the conversation should be intimate. Staging a large intervention risks alienating and angering the parent.

The conversation should take place as soon as possible, but when the individual is comfortable, calm, and alert. During the conversation, the child or other trusted person can gently bring up the symptoms they have noticed and offer to go with them to the doctor for an evaluation. It may be necessary to have multiple conversations.

At-Home Cognitive Tests

For families navigating this complex situation, at-home cognitive tests can be a helpful starting point. While an at-home test cannot diagnose Alzheimer’s disease or another cause of dementia, a test may prompt a family to seek professional help for their loved one.

One popular test that helps family members assess whether their loved one might be experiencing dementia is the Short Form of the Informant Questionnaire on Cognitive Decline in the Elderly. It includes 16 questions that aim to shed light on the loved one’s cognitive ability. The informant is asked to consider how their loved one’s cognitive abilities have changed compared with 10 years ago.

Another short cognitive assessment is a self-test: The Self-Administered Gerocognitive Exam (SAGE). Developed by Ohio State University, the SAGE test includes questions that capture different cognitive skills. It includes a question about how to draw a clock, which can illustrate problems with spatial awareness and memory.

Potential Downsides to Self-Tests

Since at-home cognitive tests are not diagnostic, they might also provide false reassurance. This is why it is best to seek medical advice from a doctor and obtain a referral for an evaluation by a neurologist or other professional. If you or a loved one chooses to use a self-test, it can be helpful to bring it with you to the appointment.