Family Support Goes Both Ways: Planning Across Generations

Takeaways

• With the rise of the sandwich generation, support may flow from parents to adult children, from adult children to aging parents, or both ways.

• Providing financial support can affect long-term plans, so families should discuss expectations, costs, and timelines openly.

Multigenerational living is on the rise in the United States. Previous assumptions about who will be financially independent and who may need support no longer hold true. As those assumptions change — whether the situation is an adult child supporting a retired parent or vice versa — so should the estate plan.

Caught in the Middle: Living in the Sandwich Generation 

More than one generation living under the same roof has become increasingly common. According to Pew Research Center, 22 percent of Americans lived in multigenerational households in 2024. This number is up from 13 percent in 1970.

The “sandwich generation” has grown as well, with one in four U.S. adults supporting a parent age 65 or older and either a minor child, an adult child, or both. Among adults in their 40s, that figure rises to 54 percent. Both trends point in the same direction: intergenerational financial ties are lasting longer and becoming more intertwined. 

As a result, retirement support is becoming less predictable — and increasingly bidirectional.

When Adult Children Become the Retirement Safety Net

Parents are expected to help their children get established financially. Up until a certain age, parents pay for just about everything, from food and clothing to shelter and education. But later in life, that flow of support can reverse.

Those same children grew into adults who carefully planned their financial futures — only to discover their parents are entering retirement without enough money to support themselves.

The problem may not come down to a complete lack of savings. Continuing mortgage or car payments, healthcare costs, home repairs, and other unexpected expenses can easily exhaust a fixed budget. 

One 39-year-old, for example, discovered that his mother only had $112,000 in her 401(k) as she approached her planned retirement age. She still had a mortgage and car payments, and he began to suspect that she viewed him as part of her eventual retirement plan.

This story is hardly unique. On average, family caregivers spend about $7,000 of their own money on an older relative annually. Roughly half report at least one negative financial consequence from caregiving. In some families, helping a parent can detract from the adult child’s own retirement savings and other long-term goals.

In this way, a money problem that starts with one generation can easily spill over into another.

When Retired Parents Keep Supporting Adult Children

A rising number of adult children are moving back home, placing financial pressure on their parents. Housing costs, inflation, student debt, job instability, and other financial pressures push younger adults back under their parents’ roofs. This can provide a much-needed financial reset for the adult child. 

A Thrivent 2026 survey revealed 44 percent of parents with adult children ages 18 to 35 had a child move back home. More than half of these “boomerang children” said the move was financially necessary. Another 27 percent said, while not necessary, it still provided financial benefits.

The savings realized by the younger half of the household, however, can create additional costs for the older half. These may include higher grocery, utility, transportation, insurance, and other household expenses. 

Nearly 47 percent of parents currently living with a boomerang child said the setup had affected their finances. Forty-three percent were willing to cut personal spending, while nearly one in five would reduce personal savings or retirement contributions to support an adult child.

Additionally, the adult child may be home for a prolonged period. More than half of boomerang parents surveyed expected the situation to last at least a year. Despite that, parents often don’t communicate their financial situation to their adult children. Seventy-six percent of boomerang children reported their parents did not explain how having them at home affected the family’s long-term financial goals.

Moving home may help an adult child regain financial footing. But a temporary housing solution shouldn’t become a retirement-planning issue. 

Planning for Each Side of the Support Equation

Estate plans are typically built around a set of assumptions about the future. But when those assumptions change significantly — for instance, a shakeup in living arrangements — the plan may need to change with them.

For Parents Whose Adult Children Move Back Home

When an adult child moves back home, their parents may have to balance their desire to help against their own financial future and security.

• Budget for added groceries, utilities, transportation, insurance, housing, and other costs to keep things manageable (and calculable).

• Decide what the adult child will contribute. That might mean accounting for rent, groceries, utilities, or another share of household expenses.

• Give the support a purpose and timeline. Be it paying down debt, rebuilding savings, or finding stable work, establishing it ahead of time sets expectations for the living arrangement. 

For Adult Children Supporting Retired Parents

When the family support flows the other way, it raises a different but related set of concerns. An adult child may be willing to step up financially. However, doing so without fully understanding the parent’s financial situation — and expectations — can create problems for both generations.

• Have a candid conversation about the parent’s financial condition. Evaluate their savings, Social Security, debt, housing costs, healthcare expenses, insurance, and expected retirement spending.

• Look at available resources to help meet the parent in the middle. Consider spending changes, downsizing, benefits, delayed retirement or Social Security, and long-term-care options. 

• Define what “help” looks like. Whether it’s a gift, loan, housing, payment of specific bills, or something the child expects to be reimbursed for later, ensure clear understanding to avoid overreaching financially.

For Both Generations: Sync Up the Plans

As housing, retirement, or caregiving arrangements overlap, the child and parent's expectations — and estate plans — should match. One side should not be planning on indefinite financial support if the other assumes it will end one day.

• Avoid letting support quietly reduce retirement contributions or force unnecessary withdrawals. Factor any support into the retirement plan.

• Revisit powers of attorney, healthcare documents, account access, and caregiving roles. There could be larger changes afoot that warrant revisiting these structures.

• Amend the estate plan accordingly. For parents, this might mean reducing later inheritance in light of greater support now. An adult child may also want to provide more for a parent in their own estate plan if that parent has become financially dependent on them.

• Determine what happens to the resident family member if the homeowner dies, becomes incapacitated, or sells. That could mean creating a longer-term right to live there, or using a trust to spell out what happens next.

• Review both estate plans together. The separate plans could be working at odds, to the detriment of either party, if wills, trusts, beneficiary designations, and distribution plans are not viewed side-by-side. 

Financial support between parents and adult children does not always follow the path a family expects. 

Having more than one generation under a single roof can affect more than one estate plan. An attorney can help ensure the support one generation provides does not create unintended problems for the other.

Additional Reading

• How to Care for Your Parents' Money While Caring for Your Parents

• A Bittersweet Season: Caring for Our Aging Parents — and Ourselves